The valiant hero flanked by his two haruhenchmen.
Hey Tom, don't let us down.
You have learned how, now go and kick ass.
Remember to take the Land to your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.
So let it out and let it in, hey Tom, begin,
You're hoping someone will take your burden.
But don't you know that it's still you, hey Tom, you'll do,
The movement you need is on your finger.
~parody rewrite by Effaeldm, original song - "Hey Jude" by The Beatles
Leprosy... I'm not half the man I used to be.
Pieces keep on dropping off of me
Since I contracted leprosy.
Avery... Linden's even worse than leprosy.
She keeps whining on and on at me.
Oh please shut up and let me be.
Why I am her beau, I don't know, I'd rather flee.
If I must choose between, I prefer my leprosy.
Eternally... there's some loser crying over me.
Jesus Christ, it's Linden Avery.
Can't she just leave and set me free?
Recently... I can't feel any extremity.
Plus Linden's whining is benumbing me.
Please God, let her be munched by She.
Leprosy... my right hand's digits run from one to three.
Please spare me from Ms. Avery.
I'd rather have my leprosy.
~parody rewrite by TheFallen, original song - "Yesterday" by The Beatles
About the hero Edit
Thomas Covenant is the #1 hero in
Stephen Donaldson's most well-known books, named after him as well. But, since these are SRD-authored tomes, "a hero" of course means "a leper rapist who doesn't even believe the world he has to save exists".
So, does this one qualify as a hero for you? Edit
Some depictions Edit http://mirk0.deviantart.com/art/Thomas-Covenant-The-Unbeliever-69924757