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Thelma Twofist

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Thelma Twofist, complete with her incongrous first name, is a legendary Giantess subsisting on in a tale most beloved by her kin. Divergent from the norm of curvy lushness and oftentimes severe beauty, Thelma was an utter troll-wife with wall-eyes, a mop of tangly hair even rakes could not tame, and teeth that would rather have befitted a deformed crocodile. Add an aggressive character with a tendency to strike everything that moves with a well-aimed fistblow, and one ends up with this fair, tender princess.

According to the story, Twofist dwelt alone and apart from the Giantish communities, and one day bumped into a banished kinsman called Bahgoon the Unbearable, notorious for his...unbearability and bahgoonness. Being both doughtier and taller than the scoundrel, she reduced him into a meek milksop with her charms, i.e. a few force-fed knuckle sandwiches. On top of everything, Bahgoon fell in love with the bloody ogress, which, along with Pitchwife’s shrine stuffed full of self-whittled statuettes featuring his most-adored Glowlimn, proves that stark and belligerent women turn the males into weak-kneed, goo-goo-eyed slops.

Perhaps tens of millennia after the actual Thelma’s passing, the legend acquired its darker shade. The Elohim granted the gift of tongues to the Giants in exchange of the narration sometime after the Unhomed had mislaid their stars, but of course the fey folk forgot to mention an eeny teeny tiny snag in the bargain...

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