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The Ardent

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Ardent

The Ardent, looking cheerful after having prepared himself a light snack.


<The Ardent (“characterized by strong emotion or enthusiasm”) is an Insequent and the apprentice of The Mahdoubt. He features in both Fatal Revenant and Against All Things Ending in the Third Chronicles.

Appearance, Personality and PowersEdit

None will dare rebuke Heft Galewrath of prehending the food supplies of Starfare’s Gem after meeting this embodiment of gluttony. For one, the diabolic forces of the Underworld would have to remodel the Third Circle of Hell to accommodate his girth. Yes, the Ardent is hugely fat - so corpulent and rotund that every "Yo momma" gag you've ever heard would absolutely apply to him. For example, the Ardent's so fat that he has to put his belt on using a boomerang, or the Ardent's so fat that he makes Sumo wrestlers look anorexic are both not far from the truth.

The reason that the Ardent is the Land's leading candidate for a heart attack is quite simple - the guy just loves his food with a quite literally unrestrained passion. All Insequent focus intensively on whatever area of research interests them most and the Ardent is no exception. It's just that gluttony is his chosen specialist subject. He claims to have sampled vast quantities of everything edible on the Earth - a thing which begs the question, why didn't the Good Guys™ simply place him in the path of the Worm and get him to chow down on it? Okay such a solution might have taken a long, long while, but you can bet your last dollar that the Ardent would have eventually finished this vast annelid meal. Especially if someone had furnished him with some ketchup.

The Ardent is generally a cheery sort when things are going well (he'd make an excellent shopping mall Santa Claus, for instance), but is prone to long bouts of timidity whenever matters turn a little more stressful or perilous. However, when push comes to shove, despite his fretting fearfulness and worry that he will not suffice, he always eventually lends Covenant and co. his aid.

The Ardent rides a stolid, shovel-headed horse called Mishio Massima (“maximal mission”), which is famous for its character as jovial as Grumpy Cat in Disneyland. Surprisingly, this prime example of equestrian elegance can support his immeasurable weight, as it never so much as whinnies in protest - although chronic back pain may partially explain its appalling bad temper. Some readers have speculated that the Ardent's steed might actually be one of Discworld’s golem horses, transported thither by a particularly perverse interdimensional caesure.

The Ardent clothes himself in what might be found in the waste bins of a fabric factory specializing on the most garish colors ever discovered in the confines of the spectrum. These fluttering abominations called ribbands function as extra appendages when necessary, potent enough to haul entire Giants up from the chasms of the Lost Deep. How they manage to hide his privates while in constant fluctuation remains a mystery. A well-guarded Insequent secret, this?

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