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Bahgoon the Unbearable was a legendary Giantish outlaw. The exact nature of his crimes never worms its way into the reader’s hearing ears, but once in the dawn of tides when the titanfolk yet slapped disconsonant balderdash into their names instead of perfectly understandable expressions such as “Baf” and “Sevin”, the homies of Home banished him from entering the civilization nevermore. As a logical consequence, one assumes that he roamed wastes unsung and perhaps waylaid unsuspecting humans and roasted them crisp over his campfire, at least till he bumped into the troll-wife named Thelma Twofist. Well, technically she was a Giantess, but must have originated from the sausage of something escaped from a Bauer painting John Bauer painting.

Unless the author decides to swallow his deep-rooted principles of never ever ever writing spinoffs, ‘tis a dire woe of utter lamentation and teeth-grinding upon the worlds, for the audiences will never be blest with the most toothsome bits of what befell next either. How did Thelma tame this rogue? By repeatedly clubbing him on the head, or by seducing him with her many a trollish charm, such as those unruly curls housing a few bird’s nests and the unwashed habiliments in the folds of which a whole ecosystem unknown to scientists had evolved? Was their encounter a tumultuous Sixty Shades of Giant?

Whatever the reasons, one must here surmise that the fair lady’s charisma obliterated his brutish habits and he became one of those beneath-the-feminine-slipper cases ready to fetch the stars and the moon from the heavens to please his beloved dominatrix princess. Where has one beheld such a couple erenow? Is this typical behavior for Giants, the womanfolk of which strides off to wage wars while the men remain behind to tend to a ship?

(tba)

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